Should Your Child Attend The Funeral?

By: Myles O'Roirdan
Friday, July 22, 2016

It is common to avoid bringing children to a funeral because it is a difficult time in our lives and we believe we are protecting children by going without them. We feel as if we are sparing them the heartache and confusion of the events taking place. Every child is different and handles their emotions in a unique way. It is important to realize that children mourn the death of a loved one as well, only they don’t fully understand what death is.

It is important to consider what is best for the child and for your family. Every situation is different and this is a decision you shouldn’t make lightly. As a parent, you should explain the funeral process to your child and allow them to make a decision as to whether they want to attend or not. Most children don’t regret going to a funeral, instead, they may be hurt that they weren’t able to be there. Having a discussion to prepare them for what will happen can make it easier for them to decide.

 

Preparing them to make a decision

What is a funeral? - The first step is to explain exactly what a funeral is to your child. They need to know that a funeral is a time and place in which we mourn the death of a loved one and begin the grieving process. Explain to them that a funeral is where we say our final goodbyes and an important part of accepting that your loved one is gone.  You may want to include where and when the funeral will be held so they feel included.

The concept of death:  - Most children don’t realize that the death of a loved one means they will never see them again. It is common that children think because the family is gathering together that this is a happy time and they may behave accordingly. This is why it is important to be open and show your emotions to your children, rather than hiding them to protect your child. They feel and pick up on what is going on around them. Explaining that death means the body does not work anymore, in which it does not breathe like we do, feel pain, eat food or feel happiness, can give the child more clarity.

Who is the funeral for and who will be there? – Your child may not realize that their loved one is gone, or they may have an idea but don’t know how to react. Although, children mourn the death of a loved just as adults do and they feel pain and sadness at this time. Share stories and talk about the deceased and allow your child to begin their own grieving process. Explain to them that family and friends will be there to share stories and say their goodbyes as well.

Once you have had a discussion about the experience they will encounter, give your child some time to think and allow them to make a decision. If your child decides to go to the funeral, it is important to discuss funeral etiquette so they have an idea of how to behave during the service. If they decide against going to the funeral, ensure them there are other ways in which they can mourn, including:

  • Attending the memorial service or celebration of life
  • Being part of the internment or ash scattering
  • Taking part in a private service with immediate family

If you have any other questions you would like to talk about, please feel free to contact, Wagg Funeral Homes, here. 

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

Who Is Eligible For Hospice Care?

Hospice care is a service specifically for people suffering from a terminal illness or a low life expectancy. Establishments that provide these services care for the patients, ensuring that they ar...

Sending Flowers to the Bereaved

Most people send condolence flowers to families that have lost a loved one and including a letter is part of it. This is a good way to show your support and empathy in their time of grief. Flowers ...

Memorial Tributes for Loved Ones

When a loved one passes away, you will want to give them a fitting tribute and there are many ways to do this. If you want the memorial service to be truly memorable, here are some ideas from the e...

How Can You Help A Friend As They Go Through The Stages Of Grief

Grieving can be an incredibly painful process, affecting every person differently. Sometimes people recover from their grief while others are unable to shake off the sorrow they feel for a number o...

How to Write an Obituary Notice

It can be tricky to write an obituary, especially if you have never had to write one before. When you are reeling under the loss of a loved one, dealing with nitty-gritty such as these can add to y...

Easy Ways to Personalize a Funeral Service on a Budget

Funerals can be very costly. Many families lack the financial means to pay for customized services and are forced to settle for a regular funeral service. There are, however, several ways to p...

Honouring and Coping with the Loss of Loved One

It is important to find ways to keep your loved one's memory close to you after their demise. It's possible that their death will be painful for you and other family members. However, those wh...

Do You Need A Casket For Your Funeral?

We at Wagg Funeral Home recognize that there are many decisions to make when planning a funeral service for a deceased loved one. However, many people today also like to pre-plan their funeral and ...

4 Unique Funeral And Burial Customs Around The World

Every culture has its own set of burial rituals. Many of these customs are centuries old, and the inhabitants of that country have practiced them for centuries. Wagg Funeral Home always takes a con...

How to Write a Letter of Condolence

When individuals are unable to attend a funeral or meet the mourning family members directly to extend their condolences, they send letters of condolence. This is a nice way to show your ...