Your Head Doesn't Know What Your Heart Feels

By: Myles O'Riordan
Friday, December 15, 2023

At Wagg Funeral Home, we have seen that when a loved one passes away, the world can feel like it's been flipped on its axis. Grief, in its raw and overwhelming state, often creates a disconnect between our head and heart; your head doesn't know what your heart feels.

While our mind may understand the finality of death, our heart struggles to accept it, clinging to memories and yearning for what can never be.

Your Head Doesn't Know What Your Heart Feels

In the early stages of grief, the head tries to take control. It processes the logistics, arranges the funeral, and handles the practicalities of life without the deceased. Yet, beneath this surface of order, the heart churns with a storm of emotions: sadness, anger, confusion, and a deep, aching longing. This internal conflict between the head's need to function and the heart's unyielding grief can be incredibly challenging.

One common manifestation of this disconnect is the feeling of numbness. The head may know the loss, but the heart refuses to acknowledge it. This numbness can act as a protective shield, allowing us to function through the immediate aftermath without being consumed by the pain. But while it may provide temporary relief, it also hinders the natural healing process.

Another way the disconnect manifests is through intrusive thoughts and memories. The head tries to focus on the present, but the heart is constantly drawn back to the past. Images of the deceased, cherished moments shared, and unfulfilled plans can flood the mind, causing a constant emotional rollercoaster. These intrusive thoughts, while painful, are a normal part of the grieving process as the heart tries to grapple with the reality of the loss.

How To Bridge The Gap Between Head And Heart

Despite the disconnect, it's important to remember that the head and the heart are not enemies. They are two sides of the same coin, working together to process the loss and find healing. The head provides the framework for understanding the situation, while the heart allows us to feel the full spectrum of grief. Here are some ways to bridge the gap between head and heart during this difficult time:

  • Acknowledge your emotions
  • Engage in activities that nourish your heart
  • Be patient

Be kind to yourself, allow your emotions to flow, and seek support when needed. The love you shared with your loved one will never be lost, and it will continue to guide you through this difficult journey.

For more information on your head doesn't know what your heart feels, Please call Wagg Funeral Home at 905-985-2171 or drop us a line. You can also send us your queries through this Online Form, and we will call you back to answer any questions. 

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