Should I or Shouldn’t I Go to the Funeral?

By: Myles O'Riordan
Thursday, February 18, 2016

Death and funerals often give rise to complicated emotions, especially if there was bad blood between you and the newly deceased. Many people are unsure of whether they should go to the funeral or not, if it would be better to instead attend the visitation or meet with the family at an appropriate time after the ceremony, or even avoid the whole thing altogether.

There are so many factors to consider when you're trying to decide what to do that it can be overwhelming. While we cannot speak for every unique case, perhaps this article may be able to offer assistance to you.

Family only

If the service is marked as "family only,' then you should respect that. If you are not a member of the immediate family, then make time to attend the visitation or simply make a phone call or house call in the days following the service. However, there may be times when you are personally invited by a family member to attend, even though it is marked as family only. In that case, you should attend if at all possible.

Similarly, if you believe that your presence would be inappropriate or would disturb others, then you might want to consider attending. In that case, it would be best for you to consider your relationship with the bereaved before making your decision.

Relations with the deceased

Another thing you need to consider is your relationship with the deceased. Sometimes, people don't get along, or argue. You may have had a poor relationship with the deceased. In that case, consider the feelings of the rest of the family. If you were invited only out of courtesy or politeness, then you may consider skipping the service. If that is so, then you need to think about what you, personally, want to do.

You may have had a poor relationship with the deceased, but a strong relationship with other family members. In that case, you should attend to show support for your friend or family who are mourning.

Logistics

Finally, it may not be logistically possible for you to attend. Due to travel time, finances or other responsibilities, you may not be able to take the time you need to attend the service. In that case, be sure to contact the bereaved as soon as possible and voice your support for them, even though you cannot attend the service.

Again, we cannot speak in specifics, only in generalities. If you want to attend, and are invited, then you should attempt to. If you do not want to attend due to your relationship with the deceased, but are invited, then think about it. If you are not invited, but want to attend, consider the feelings of the bereaved and respect their wishes.

 

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

The Advantages Of Working With A Family Owned Funeral Home

Funerals are an important part of the healing process. They allow family members to say goodbyes, gain some solace, and honor a loved one’s memory. The funeral home plays a vital role in this proce...

Information About Green Burials

Over the years, there has been a significant change in the funeral ceremonies people follow. While most families conduct burials in line with traditional practices, some prefer new traditions in th...

Coping with the Loss of a Stillborn Birth or SDS Child

It can be heartbreaking to lose a child and the couple that goes through such a situation can become distraught and immensely sad. In addition, overcoming that grief isn’t easy either. Sudden Infan...

Why Losing a Pet Can be So Difficult

It is easy to underestimate just how difficult it is to lose a pet. Most pet parents feel the loss deeply and are likely to grieve for an extended period. At Wagg Funeral Home, we have seen pet par...

The Importance Of Personalizing A Memorial Service

Some people find comfort in the ritualistic and regimented schedule of a traditional funeral service. They follow the guidelines set up by their religious order and are content with the service. At...

Managing Grief During The Festive Season

Grief has a way of permeating through all aspects of life. Things like family get-togethers can be a painful reminder of what you have lost. At Wagg Funeral Home, we think it is important to take a...

How To Plan A Meaningful Memorial Service

Memorial services are a great way to honor a deceased loved one and help family members gain some solace. People can celebrate the life and contributions of the deceased by sharing beautiful memori...

Dealing With Sudden Death

It’s never easy to deal with the death of a loved one, even if the person had been ailing or was very old. Sudden death can be even more challenging to manage and the pain can be almost unbearable....

What is a Green Burial?

Funeral ceremonies have undergone quite an evolution over the years. Traditional burials are the most common among people. These are followed by the newer, lesser-known cremations and green burials...

Creative Ideas for Funeral Services

Funeral services are a great way to reminisce your loved one with all the close family and friends. It is an event to celebrate the life of the person while grieving their loss. We, at Wagg Funeral...