Tips for Letting Go of a Loved One While Keeping Them Close to Your Heart

By: Myles O'Riordan
Thursday, May 26, 2016

The loss of someone close to us is quite likely to be one of the most difficult and painful experiences we will ever have in our lives. After spending so many years with someone as an integral part of our lives to have them pass away is understandably traumatic. Unfortunately, there is no easy way to deal with this, and it will require time, patience and an acceptance of this sad fact of life to move on.

However, while there’s no easy way to accept the passing of a loved one, there are things you can do to better accept what has happened, and pave the way for moving on. Nothing can take the pain away, but many things can help in beginning to heal.

Own Your Grief

You’ve lost someone extremely close to you, and you are completely entitled to any feelings you may be experiencing. There is no such thing as a “wrong” way to grieve, and it is a rollercoaster of emotion that can turn and swerve unpredictably. You may feel sad, you may even feel anger from time to time, and none of these emotions are “wrong.” Whatever you feel during this period of loss is yours, and you must embrace and accept it before you can move on.

You must also accept that however long it takes you to grieve is exactly right for you. The “one year rule” of mourning is not meant to apply strictly to everyone. Some people may feel ready to move on after just a few months. Others may take years, especially if it was a long, fruitful relationship. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, so take your time and do it your way.

Don’t Hurt Yourself

While grieving in your own fashion is something everyone should do, self-destructive tendencies, while understandable, are not part of this process. The loved one that has passed on would not want to see you drinking more heavily, becoming addicted to drugs, or driving recklessly without worrying about auto accidents simply because you miss him or her. 
It’s easy to see why you might care less about your own welfare, or seek ways to dull the pain when you lose someone. But losing yourself in the process is not the way to grieve, and tarnishes the memory of the one who loved you so much before they passed on.

Preserve the Memories

Some people, if they feel the pain is too great, may be tempted to “purge” themselves of reminders of the loved on. It’s similar to the way ending a relationship may encourage some people to get rid of gifts, clothing, anything that may be associated with the person they are no longer with.

There may come a time when this might be something you want to do, but don’t do it right away. Give yourself at least a year with your grief and see how you feel afterwards. Getting rid of photos, gifts, and other memories may seem like a good idea in the early stages of grief, but as you heal and move on, those memories and reminders may become important again. Don’t hurt yourself in the long run by trying to erase memories to deal with short term pain.

If you want more advice or require the support of a professional, understanding funeral service and live in Port Perry, Ontario, contact us today. We’ll work closely with you to provide the counsel and service required during this difficult time.

 

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